19/10/06

// feeling :: restless
// prayer for :: tmr's cgm

Ah tired.

I've been talking to God a lot the past couple of days, but I feel close to Him yet distant at the same time. I'm feeling mixed up.

I remember last time, when I was so so so onz for church and God. I remember that I had this wonderful feeling of God being a real, physical friend beside me in school. I could feel His presence, and I just talked to Him in my mind. It felt cool. It felt comforting too.

I would always wish that God wasnt spiritual but physical. I would tell Him my deepest thoughts and dreams. He knew everything about me. But I know little about Him..I realised that its not because He doesnt tell me anything about Him, but I just dont bother finding out.

I always treated God like a real friend last time. And yes, I admit, right now I'm kinda distracted from my priorities. I seemed to have placed other things above God, when its supposed to be the other way. Heh, to think that a few months ago, God was all I was concerned about.

I seem to be juggling between the two extremes.

But..I love God. With all my heart. He's the most important to me now and always.

I just hope that I dont get my personal feelings in the way anymore.